I let the water run down over my face, carefully breathing through the streams. As I stood there, underneath the steamy shower, the stresses and upsets of the day fell away and slid down the drain. The water penetrates further, relaxing a part of me that I had boarded up. The pain of the past week lessened.
The feelings of failure from the miscarriage melted away as I heard God say' "Here is the hope I have for you. I know that you have been hurting, feeling as if your promise would never come, but I love you. And through this pain, you will know that I love you. It is not my time for you to have a baby, but you needed hope. Know this, you can get pregnant. But now isn't the time."
I had thought that this was the hope from the beginning; that we finally got pregnant and then lost it, but there was hope in the fact that we got pregnant...
But here is the real hope!!! God knows the future, he holds my future in his hands, it has already been molded. And in my pain, I thought that the fact that we even got pregnant was the hope... But that is only a piece of it. God, knowing me, knowing the very core of who I am, opened my womb to get pregnant to let me know who he is. To let me know that he sees my pain and my desires for a baby, but to also show me that he is the one who sees time. He knows when it is the best time to have a child. So he took the baby from my womb, leaving a promise of a pregnacy at the right time.
They say that many things about us are hereditary. Your eye color, baldness, body shape, etc... My mom always says that the shower is where God communicates with her. Who knew that that was hereditary?!?
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Wow, His plans are definitely different then what I ever anticipate... and always better!
Keep the faith,